Comedy From Today's Headlines April 19 2012

I am not ashamed to admit it. I fear driving in the city where I live. It may have to do that I drove for 16 years in a slightly more courteous place. I will do almost anything to get out of driving in real traffic. Some people ask me why I am the way I am and I just said for my first sixteen years of driving I never once had to share a road with a jeepney driver. Don't get me wrong because I ride on jeeps every once in a while. I just know that to understand a jeepney driver's mentality just remove the "ity".


Jeepney drivers were kamikaze pilots in a previous life. That is just my belief. To paraphrase Steven Wright, Manila drivers do things you thought were only possible in cartoons. When I moved here my grandmother said to me " you will learn to drive our way". I felt like answering like Captain Williard in Apocalypse Now "I don't see any method at all, sir."

I need improvement in my prayer life. I should pray more when I eat, sleep and wake up. The one time I pray regularly is when I get into the front seat of a car. I have seen things done here that do not make me the list bit curious about what ingesting LSD would be like. If they ever held Death Race 2000 here, I am not sure we would even notice it.

I would like to close this thought by asking you to read the rest of that headline. A more High Definition version of the picture is here.

Ironically another story that shares the front page with this one is "Pinoys biggest believers in God". Well they all drive like they want to meet him soon.


Ed



http://www.hellobc.com/vancouver.aspx

http://www.sparknotes.com/film/apocalypsenow/canalysis.html

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0078788/quotes?qt=qt0324910

http://www.mediafire.com/?32150ueon43gr08 (headline full resolution)


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0ZLYEbkykCI (Death Race 2000)


http://www.philstar.com/Article.aspx?articleId=798568&publicationSubCategoryId=200


Manila named 3rd worst city for driving
(philstar.com) Updated April 19, 2012 07:31 AM Comments (4) View comments

MANILA, Philippines - The Philippine capital of Manila has been tagged by the "CNNGo" travel and lifestyle website as the world's third-worst city for driving.

The website cited Filipinos' concern about traffic congestion as their number one problem, followed by air pollution, garbage collection, flood control and the need for security.

"So, Filipinos care more about getting to work on time than they do about respiratory ailments, mounting trash heaps, drowning or being assaulted?" it said.

CNNGo said that in 2001, Manila borrowed US$60 million from the World Bank for transit-related activities.

"Among other things, the funds were meant to 'promote the use of non-motorized transport,'" it added. "A campaign asking locals to 'Please stop driving,' however, wasn't necessarily the best approach to traffic management."

The website believes that authorities may be doing something to solve the traffic mess in the city. "Redeeming quality: You're in a country in which smooth-flowing traffic is apparenly of utmost importance to residents. So, you gotta figure somebody, somewhere is working on the problem. Right?"

Beijing in China topped the list as the world's third-worst place for driving, followed by New Delhi in India.

The other cities in the world on the list are Mexico City in Mexico, Johannesburg in South Africa, Lagos in Nigeria, S�o Paolo in Brazil, Moscow in Russia, Toronto in Canada and Monaco.

MMDA doubts report

Metropolitan Manila Development Authority (MMDA) officials expressed doubts the report.

"Siguro hindi naman totoo iyan. Ano bang basehan nila? Convenience? Travel time?" said MMDA Chairman Francis Tolentino.

"Ang ginagawa natin sinasama na rin natin ang mga residente para sila rin ang gumawa ng paraan against traffic," he added.

He said that while some Filipino drivers need more discipline on the road, the country is not being left behind with regard to the state of roads and vehicles.

"MMDA, under Chairman Tolentino's strong leadership, is working hard to improve Metro Manila's traffic situation," said the agency's traffic discipline unit head, lawyer Yves Gonzalez.

"We've implemented speed limits, motorcycle lanes, installed traffic light timers, utilized social media, and mobile apps to inform motorists," he told ABS-CBNNews.com

"All projects aimed at improving Metro Manila's traffic situation. All this in less than 2 years, and we have a lot more ahead," Gonzalez said. - Pia Gutierrez, ABS-CBN News

The NBA IS Not King

"The five most-watched events in U.S. TV history are now "M-A-S-H" (seen by just under 106 million people on Feb. 28, 1983) and the last four Super Bowls, Nielsen said." link



I have said this in other entries but I consistently have to remind the culture that I am in that the NBA is nowhere near the dominant sport in it's own country than it is here. Then again FPJ, Richard Gomez, Tito Vic and Joey have dominated the cultural landscape here for decades so what does it say about this place? What does it say about the fact that this is the only country where basketball is not the dominant team sport. It's the only team sport.

The NFL is the #1 team sport in the US. The most sophisticated, diverse sporting nation on Planet Earth. The best hockey, basketball and baseball players go there to play. Guess what? In terms of TV ratings the #2 sport is College Football. The US has soccer and it's treated no better than a fifth class citizen. Nothing against Bolivia or Uruguay but if their favorite sport is also their only sport that is no reason for the US to follow suit. The US already has the most choice and the NFL totally dominates as if they were Godzilla being unleashed on Smurfs.




Back in 2007 the NBA Finals was on free over the air network TV featuring Lebron James The Sopranos Finale was available only to HBO subscribers. Not even basic cable. Guess which show got better ratings?? The Super Bowl last Sunday was highest rated show out of every show that has ever showed.



I will keep harping on this since the typical pinoy truly believes that the NBA trumps every sport anywhere just because it does so here. The NFL not only beats basketball, it beats all other TV.

You can devote your life to the NBA for all I care , just don't think it dominates anywhere else but here.


Ed

http://www.thestar.com/Sports/article/224122

http://cornholiogogs.multiply.com/journal/item/1017/Hypocrisy_of_the_Recognition_and_Admiration_of_Efren_Penaflorida

Link to Highest Ratings Ever


Link


Super Bowl sets record with 111M viewers in US
AP - Mon Feb 7, 7:22 PM EST

NEW YORK (AP) -- For the second year in a row, the Super Bowl has set a record for American television viewing.

The Nielsen Co. said Monday that an estimated 111 million people watched the Green Bay Packers outlast the Pittsburgh Steelers in professional football's ultimate game. That tops the 106.5 million who watched the 2010 game between New Orleans and Indianapolis.

The series finale of "M-A-S-H" had held the title of the most-watched TV show in the United States for 27 years. It is now No. 3.

Fox had the advantage of a game between two of the National Football League's iconic franchises and, even though it looked like it could be a rout when the Packers took a 21-3 lead, it went down to the final minute and held viewers' interest.

In fact, the most-watched single play of the game was Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger's (notes) final incomplete pass to Mike Wallace (notes) with about a minute to go, according to measurements by TiVo Inc., the digital video recorder maker. When that pass hit the ground, it clinched the game for Green Bay.

The five most-watched events in U.S. TV history are now "M-A-S-H" (seen by just under 106 million people on Feb. 28, 1983) and the last four Super Bowls, Nielsen said.

Television ratings in general have been super for the NFL this year, with viewership up 13 percent over last year, Nielsen said. Games on CBS, Fox and NBC averaged 20 million viewers, more than twice what networks get for their prime-time programming.

"Super Bowl XLV caps what is arguably the most successful season that any sports league has ever had," said Pat McDonough, senior vice president for insight and analysis at the Nielsen Co. "The number of people watching NFL games has never been higher, with 24 percent more people watching the average NFL game this year than just five years ago. The Super Bowl continues to be in a category of its own."

Football has become the communal event that television, in a splintered competitive world of dozens of networks, rarely provides outside of "American Idol" or the Oscars. Compelling story lines for the games and the growth in high-definition television help make the games compelling for viewers. The games also tend to be DVR-proof, with viewers wanting to see them live.

Traditions that have built around the game itself make the Super Bowl compelling to non-sports fans. Christina Aguilera's goof on the National Anthem, the Black-Eyed Peas halftime show and the dozens of commercials that companies debut on TV's biggest stage were water-cooler discussion topics along with the game on Monday.

Fox's "Glee" took advantage of the time slot directly after the game, reaching 26.8 million viewers for its special episode. It was the most-watched scripted entertainment program on TV since Fox's "House" aired after the Super Bowl three years ago, Nielsen said.

TiVo also judged the Snickers commercial featuring Richard Lewis and Roseanne Barr to be the top-rated commercial of the telecast. The company determines that through a calculation that takes in viewership and how many times people rewind their DVRs to watch the ad.

Second place was Best Buy's ad with Justin Bieber and Ozzy Osbourne.

"Funny ads made it to the top," said Tara Maitra, TiVo's vice president and general manager for audience research and advertising sales.

The Black-Eyed Peas' halftime show, with guests Usher and Slash, held its own. TiVo said it had nearly identical viewer engagement numbers as shows with classic rockers over the past two years.

People were much less likely to stop the game to repeat the ads in the second half, when the football action was compelling, Maitra said. No beer ads made TiVo's top 10 rated ads for the game.

The average Super Bowl viewer with a DVR either paused, rewound or fast-forwarded 145 times during the game, TiVo said.

How Some People Treat Hallowed Ground

St. Andrews in Scotland is the birthplace of golf. It is hallowed ground for the golfing community. Even if you are not a golfer or a golf , it does not take much to appreciate the beauty, tradition and history of this place. Keep strolling down since I have a point.











I have seen one PGA event in my life and I was glad I did. Any sports fan would be thrilled to see a major tournament in any sport. It is where history is made. There are only 4 of them in golf and in tennis. I know someone who went to the 2010 British Open in St.Andrews. But that is not why I posted this.


This person decides to honor a place steeped with history and tradition by wearing high heels. In case you don't catch the "gravity" of what I just said, imagine following golfers and they play through 18 holes while you are walking on grass wearing high heels. Last time I tried it, it was not exactly relaxing. I asked this person and she had no regrets. The fact that the heels made her sink in the ground and she left tracks was not an issue to her.


I have spoken about vanity many times in the blog and what it does to situations and people when it is given a higher priority than it should be. For me and this is just me: tradition, respect, appropriateness and utility all trump vanity. But that is just me. Corinthians 13:13 talks about faith , hope and love. It does not talk about faith hope and vanity.


The person who wore high heels in St.Andrews regardless of the impracticality justified it by saying vanity before all. I will let you decide if vanity is worth it. In this or any other situation.



Ed


http://www.standrews.org.uk/

http://www.scottishgolfhistory.net/st_andrews_oldest_golf_course.htm

Yes I Found LeBron's Dad

Adventures In Food: Cheese Steak Hoagie

Where: Rockwell Powerplant Mall. Elbert's Cheesesteak Sandwiches

Cost : 240 for the Hoagie Sandwich (add 80 pesos for generous fries plus fountain drink)


Had the sandwich as they make it without adding or subtracting anything. Comes with lettuce, tomatoes and onions. I can't visualize this being much good if taken out.

Personal Verdict: yum!!


Ed


http://www.ourawesomeplanet.com/awesome/2009/02/elberts-cheesesteak.html


http://www.spot.ph/establishment/11303/elberts-cheesesteak

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Makati-Philippines/Elberts-Cheesesteak-Sandwiches/123978908666

Questionable Headline: RP Still Seen As Corrupt

You can see the headline. Here is the story. The reason why I find this worthy of saying a few words is the one word in that headline. "Still"


If you don't get me now try these hypothetical headlines:




Mount Everest Still Highest Mountain.

Grand Canyon Still Breath Taking.

Casablanca Still A Classic.

Michael Bolton Still Cheesy.

Willie Revillame Still Produces Moronic TV



The word "still" implies there is or was a chance that the status quo is threatened. Otherwise why say it that way?

It would take armaggedon of incredible bibilical proportions to change the status of the Grand Canyon or Mt. Everest. Casablanca is safe as long as movies like Twilight keep coming out. Michael Bolton once wrote for Kiss. Willie's new show by all indications is not CSI.







Nothing has happened here in the last twelve months to warrant that simple word "still". Unless you count not hearing sirens while on the road. To at least get you out of here in an optimistic and pleasant mood. Enjoy the song titled the same as our key word. Done by the band of a guy who I think is Nicole Richie's dad.



Ed

http://cornholiogogs.multiply.com/journal/item/1203/Questionable_Headline_RP_Still_Seen_As_Corrupt

http://www.bworldonline.com/main/content.php?id=20161

My Take on The Jersey Shore And How It Relates To Us

I rarely turn on the TV. So I am not a Jersey Shore viewer. But is it safe to say that they are not exactly celebrated for their cerebral qualities? They are full of themselves and vain and may never contribute to the betterment of society. Much like the local Gucci Gang.


Snooki gets arrested which is good sign that flavor of the month status does not exclude one from acting normally in public. Fred Thompson had the funniest take on the Snook Meister here.

I think I heard enough descriptions from Bill Simmons to have a good idea what the appeal of Jersey Shore is.



In the words of Spinal Tap's David St.Hubbins - "Yes it did! Yes it f**ing well did, and it was not pleasant to be part of the comedy on stage. Backstage, perhaps, it was very amusing. "


Based on my link to the real world, (my office mates) Jersey Shore is a not big hit here yet. Who needs it? If you want people full of themselves, who do not know the people are not laughing with them but at them then we have our newly elected president. That is true reality TV. It's comedy if you see the reality of it yet it affects our reality in a grim way. The worst dumb are people who don't know they are dumb. These type of people believe it is their genius creating the amusement and the applause when its quite the opposite. Guess what Philippines you elected him.



At least Snooki being dumb only affects MTV's reality.


Ed



http://twitter.com/fredthompson/status/19930683487

http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/simmons/index

http://www.nydailynews.com/gossip/2010/07/31/2010-07-31_snooki_from_jersey_shore_hits_cops_with_expletivefilled_rant_during_her_arrest.html


http://antipinoy.com/great_job_noynoy/

http://antipinoy.com/leadership-tips-from-p-noy-aquino-or-not/


http://antipinoy.com/p-noys-sona-what-the-clapping-audience-failed-to-hear/

http://antipinoy.com/not-even-the-pen-of-the-inquirer-net-editor-can-save-president-noynoy-aquino/

http://antipinoy.com/p-noys-first-sona-more-bark-than-bite/


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gucci_Gang_controversy

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xlf5ucFanpY